Movie Review-Ugly aur Pagli

I was probably not in the right frame of mind when i thought of going for UAP or i was too impressed with Pyar ke side Effects that i thought to take a chance. Afterall Ranbir nd Mallika deserve a watch (which I had wrongly thought).
As is my style before writing abt the movie, i wil cut the long story short, and wd give the movie 1/10 (1 coz of two good songs in the movie) and wd recommend that only UGLY's and PAGLI's go watch the movie.

The movie (the final product) is a proper blend of what is the outcome of utter confusion. Sachin Kamlakar Khot, the director tried to mix Humour Romance and Seriousness in a very unsuccesful way and the product is that neither portion of the movie is tolerable. If it wasnt for the expensive tickets at PVR i would have left the movie in half.
The movie starts with Ranbir Shourie (Kabir) drinking a night club and wishing like al the men to have a girl in life. He meets Mallika at a Mumbai local station where she in a drunk state is about to fall in front of the approaching train. Kabir saves Kuhu (Mallika) and takes her to hotel coz she is too drunk to even be on her feet. His second and third meeting too is same and shows how uncreative the director and the scriptwriter could be.
With this starts the most boring and uninteresting love story where Mallika slaps Ranbri almost every minute. The scenes where she orders him to walk in her sandals, get her rose (by stealing) on a cycle which does nt have a seat, etc etc have been TRIED to be shown as romantic and cute but are utter disaster and unbearable.
Both fall in love and do not admit it to each other, and to Kabir's surprise, Kuhu walks out suddenly from his life to never return. The director even tries the Pyar Ke Side Effects style of breakup which was original and intense, here he fails to create any spark at all. Kabir waits for Kuhu who disappears to Kolkata for 2 years to forget both her previous boyfriend and Kabir who reminded her of him al the time. Kabir like a devdas waits for her and posts his love messages in a coffee parlour and also on the terrace where they usually went. Kuhu comes back to Mumbai, and is introduced to Gaurav Puri (special apperance) by her parents. bla bla bla, and she realizes that she loves kabir and returns to him....The special appearance of Zeenat Aman playing the role of matchmaker in the final scenes of the movie is irritating too, and it seemed as if she has forgotten how to act / face the camera. I am so sorry for being so ruthless and unforgiving guys.

The portion of the movie wheere Mallika writes script which Ranbir imagines happening around him are reallt disgusting.

Talking about the good things, i personally liked only two
1) the song "Yaad tu aaye" and
2) The acting of Mallika's mom where she is trying to speak in a typical erotic bengali woman, she finally brought out some smiles out of me (may nt b enjoyed by al, specially by people from outside bengal)
All in all do i need to conclude , i dont think so i have already written enough about the CRAP above.
And yes the movie as its tagline has only 99 slaps and 1 kiss (which no would actually wait for coz the kiss comes in the end with the cast and titles) and nothing else

Love
SA
PS: Your comments would help me improve in my attempt to become a professional movie reviewer.