Interesting Fact- Observed in life too

The following article appeared in one of the CAT papers, and i based on my own and my friends experience have observed and vouch for the observations made by the writer:

While I was in class at Columbia, struggling with the esoterica du jour, my father was on a bricklayer’s scaffold not far up the street, working on a campus building. Once we met up on the subway going home — he was with his tools, I with my books. My father wasn’t interested in Thucydides, and I wasn’t up on arches. My dad has built lots of places in New York City he can’t get into: colleges, condos, office towers. He made his living on the outside. Once the walls were up, a place took on a different feel for him, as though he wasn’t welcome anymore. Related by blood, we’re separated by class, my father and I. Being the white-collar child of a blue-collar parent means being the hinge on the door between two ways of life. With one foot in the working-class, the other in the middle class, people like me are Straddlers, at home in neither world, living a limbo life.

What drove me to leave what I knew? Born blue-collar, I still never felt completely at home among the tough guys and anti-intellectual crowd of my neighbourhood in deepest Brooklyn. I never did completely fit in among the preppies and suburban royalty of Columbia, either. It’s like that for Straddlers. It was not so smooth jumping from Italian old-world style to US professional in a single generation. Others who were the first in their families to go to college, will tell you the same thing: the academy can render you unrecognisable to the very people who launched you into the world. The ideas and values absorbed in college challenge the mom-and-pop orthodoxy that passed for truth for 18 years. Limbo folk may eschew polyester blends for sea-isle cotton, prefer Brie to Kraft slices. They marry outside the neighbourhood and raise their kids differently. They might not be in church on Sunday.

When they pick careers (not jobs), it’s often a kind of work their parents never heard of or can’t understand. But for the white-collar kids of blue-collar parents, the office is not necessarily a sanctuary. In Corporate America, where the rules are based on notions foreign to working-class people, a Straddler can get lost. Social class counts at the office, even though nobody likes to admit it. Ultimately, corporate norms are based on middle-class values, business types say. From an early age, middle-class people learn how to get along, using diplomacy, nuance, and politics to grab what they need. It is as though they are following a set of rules laid out in a manual that blue-collar families never have the chance to read.

People born into the middle class to parents with college degrees have lived lives filled with what French sociologist Pierre Bourdieu calls ‘cultural capital’. Growing up in an educated environment, they learn about Picasso and Mozart, stock portfolios and crème brulee. In a home with cultural capital, there are networks: someone always has an aunt or golfing buddy with the inside track for an internship or some entry-level job. Dinner-table talk could involve what happened that day to mom and dad at the law firm, the doctor’s office, or the executive suite. Middle-class kids can grow up with a sense of entitlement that will carry them through their lives. This ‘belongingness’ is not just related to having material means, it also has to do with learning and possessing confidence in your place in the world. Such early access and direct exposure to culture in the home is the more organic, ‘legitimate’ means of appropriating cultural capital, Bourdieu tells us. Those of us possessing ‘ill-gotten Culture’ can learn it, but never as well. Something is always a little off about us, like an engine with imprecise timing. There’s a greater match between middle-class lives and the institutions in which the middle class works and operates—universities or corporations. Children of the middle and upper classes have been speaking the language of the bosses and supervisors forever.

Blue-collar kids are taught by their parents and communities to work hard to achieve, and that merit is rewarded. But no blue-collar parent knows whether such things are true in the middle-class world. Many professionals born to the working-class report feeling out of place and outmanoeuvred in the office. Soon enough, Straddlers learn that straight talk won’t always cut. Resolving conflicts head-on and speaking your mind doesn’t always work, no matter how educated the Straddler is.

In the working-class, people perform jobs in which they are closely supervised and are required to follow orders and instructions. That, in turn, affects how they socialise their children. Children of the working-class are brought up in a home in which conformity, obedience and intolerance for back talk are the norm — the same characteristics that make a good factory worker.

Read more...

Weekend, spent quality time wid Parents

After more than a couple of months in Delhi, i decided to go to Jaipur last weekend. Despite it being a busy weekend for Mom and Bhabi, i decided to go ahead with the plan,
A)Because i was feeling a lil homesick
B) My Naniji is here from Indonesia, and she visits very occasionally so had to catch up with her
C) Wanted to spend some time with Bhabi too.

Missed my Bus to Jaipur - I was scheduled to leave office by 6 and catch the Delux Bus at 6.15, but to my surprise all buses 9 were booked and my booking bore a waiting of 20 which unlike Railways is impossible to achieve in Buses. I decided that i wd nt waste anytime waitin for the Bus and headed straight to the Highway to try my luck. I had actualy gone there to catch a Bus which had a single occupancy but standing there i took lift from in the fst 5 minutes from a Scorpio, which had 6 men going to my destination.

I was squeezed in the middle in the middle seat which i hate teh most, and 5 minutes down the road the guys took out whisky and beer bottles. At fst i had thought that these guys might b strangers to one another and the driver mite have picked them up from some place, but i later found out that they were al togerther and the only stranger among them was ME. I started to feel uncomfortable coz of more than 1 reason, but kept my mouth shut coz i was having a different kind of fun, the fun of unknown. The car was running at the highway at not less than 110-120 kmph, and the adrenalline of al those nearing old age guys was quite impecable. They talked less, drank more and were not so bad as i was thinking they cd have been. Later i learned that these guys were businessmen who visited Delhi for collections every week. I was offered some drink too which per the first rule of travelling in said no. They had a bet amongst them that if the driver cd take us to Jaipr in less than 3 and a half hrs, then one of them wd treat all of them nd vice versa so it was a good bargain for me since i get to be home early and fast. And as was decided and gamble on we made it to Jaipur at 11.15 pm, and i was home after 10 mins.

Mom's and Bhabi's Exhibition- It was a small hall which had less than 20 stalls, each one of them offering something unique or the other. Mom and Bhabi as naive businessmen had marked up everything that they were offering by at least 40-50%, so when i went i changed things a bit and there was an overwhelming response specially on the designer mat front. My mom was flattered by my marketing skills and it boosted her confidence too. Sat and Sun both went in the exhibition and we did spare some time for each other during the night by playing cards and talking abt anything and everuything in family news.

Read more...

Have a great Trip bro

Bro,

Finally you are doing wat you have wished to do for so long. The best and the worst thing too, is that Bhabis are at their respective "Phiars". Good since you get two be with the brothers (both of them together) for 24hrs, and worst coz you dont get pampered, and are not treated like Kings....

Make sure you visit Ktm and also someplace near that, its heaven, and make sure, you visit the holy and religious places too, coz believe u me, its out of the world experience.
Read more...

Mission Istanbul

Hopeless movie, if u think Rajeev Masand gives good reviews....
No good action sequence, no songs and not a single actor knows how to act
Read more...

Going International

Finally, things have been decided. I m going to Nepal for a week this thursday, going to Kathmandu (Casinos) after that...and then in delhi for a day, and then finally home ......Looking forward for the trip when I start my most awaited trip.....Will surely put in the pics as I get them
Read more...

Speech by Chetan Bhagat-Dont be serious, be sincere

Keep the Spark Alive
Inaugural Speech for the new batch at the Symbiosis BBA program,
By Chetan Bhagat

Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.
Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party – several months in advance – just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.
I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark?
Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame. The first aspect is nurturing - to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms.
To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible for you. It isn't any external measure - a certain cost to company pay package, a particular car or house.
Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement. But it isn't the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr. Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won't be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday? They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive. Just getting better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.
Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature's design. Are you? Goals will help you do that.
I must add, don't just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.
There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.
You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in nursery school, where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.

One last thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said - don't be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.
I've told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.
Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don't go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What did this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades – how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you. But it's life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember - if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that's where you want to be.
Disappointment's cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don't know if you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five years to get close to a release. Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved – movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result – at least I was learning how to write scripts, having a side plan – I had my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life - friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.
Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree find it easier to make it – not just in Bollywood, but everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty damm lucky by Indian standards. Let's be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what we don't. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don't get literary praise. It's ok. I don't look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It's ok. Don't let unfairness kill your spark.
Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.
There you go. I've told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.
I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, your eyes will shine the same way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying - I come from the land of a billion sparks.
Thank You!
Read more...

Rocked the weekend with Sunny

Friday - At Blues, Canaught Place

Sunny came, and by God's grace he dint nt arrive at the scheduled arrival time of 4.30 a.m, and i cd enjoy the luxury of sleeping til 8 that day. By the time i woke up i saw thr were 3 missed calls from his cell, and it instantly took away al my drowsiness and i was wondering if he is lost in Delhi. A similar thing happend wid me when i had visited Rishav. Anyway, that was nt the case and he was on his way home in the correct route. By the time he came in i was al set to leave for the office. In the eveneing we went over to CP to do a bit of shopping, and the bit just gt bigger and bigger and we ended up buying T Shrits for every1 we knew. The best part was buying it for my sister, coz personally i have never bought any clothes for gals, nd it was too difficult, fst to choose and the to anticipate if it wil fit her well. Sunny being expedrienced in these fields helped me choose the right size and it actually fitted well, coz anything that wd fir Sunny wd fit any gal.
It was already 9 in the evening and we thght that we shd better hit some club. With al the excitedment we headed towards home and gt in our best clothes and left for South Ex since the place boasts of having a few good places to chk out. Being a Stag for nightclubs in a crime and we were nt allowed in anywhr.
Disappointed we headed towards CP since me and prakash had entered Blues stag sometime back, and that was my last resort. To my surprise and disappointment we were nt let in thr too. I thght i case Priti was free i cd ask her to come over to get us in, and i tried her phone and she happened to be arnd. We went and liked the place and the music was good but the place shut by 1 so we were left wid no choice but to go home.

Sunday, Elevates, Noida:

Sunday started on a very sad note, fst of al, we woke up late, and we were nt able to decide on what we wanted to do. Sunny ended up watching 2 movies (Fist of Fury and Kindergarten Kid) before we cd leave for anyplace it was already 4. We thght of watching a movie and headed 4 the cinema hall widout even taking a bath.
Unfortunately we were late and were nt able to catch up the movie on time, and were back to square 1. Then i tght why nt give him the time of his life by taking him to the best disc in the city. I borrowed the car from Chinu and navigating the confusing roads we reached Noida by 11 p.m. Entry was nt much of a problem wid priti arnd, and the club happened to be the best disc i had ever seen. The place was just awesome and huge and had a capacity of more than 600 people. The decor was great and crowd was awesome too. I hit the dance floor almost instantly and had a great time dancing till 3 a.m. in the morning.





Read more...